WILSON [Thailand, 2009]
Wilson, as he came to be known around Bottle Beach, was one of my favorite characters of my trip. Wilson had more bravado than brains, more muscle than charm, and more Thailand Tattoos (I’ll explain) than common sense. He was a 19 year old straight out of a prestigious prep school with plans to conquer the world.
Here are a few samples of his insanity:
– He said he had 10 goals in life, such as “build a flying machine from scratch” and “travel around the world by foot”. He claimed to only completed 1/10 so far (doing cocaine off a girl’s vagina). He was on the island to check off #2 – build a 30 foot floating houseboat out of bamboo.
– He brought a 44-piece knife set (scary, I know) We watched him fail to open a coconut with a machete for 30 minutes.
– Wilson also had hobbies. Spear fishing. Alcohol. Sleeping Pills. One night, he combined all three (pictured). We were boozing around the hammocks, with Wilson high on sleeping pills. Someone said they saw a shark in the cove. Wilson woozily jumped up, grabbed his spear (a throwing knife taped to bamboo) and stumbled out to the water. Somehow, the shark survived.
– He built a raft and paddle rather than pay fisherman to take him off our secluded beach. His makeshift raft tipped over on a bamboo expedition, and he lost his machete.
– He also rented a motorcycle to carry his bamboo. He crashed, damaged the bike and got Thailand Tattoos all over. After he was well enough to ride, he rented another bike…and crashed it.
– His 30-foot houseboat turned out to be a shitty jungle gym in the sand.
Wilson, I salute you, for your incredible motivation to do amazingly stupid things.